"Lonely is not being alone, is the feeling that no one cares."
Surrounded with people who care about me, people who love me dearly - that has always been my life.
Yet most time I felt alone in this world. Loneliness, this heavy dark thing eating me from inside and pulling me down. This unbearable feeling that often came knocking at the door. And I always felt so guilty about it. How can someone be lonely with a phone full of people's numbers, full of unopened Facebook conversations and non-stop flow of notifications?
The feeling that came from knowing so many people, but having no one to reach out to when I felt like this crippling loneliness was getting at me. Having no one to explain my mind to. Being no one's priority.
There were days when I felt like maybe I found a person who'd put me first, because I had put them first. They have always proven me wrong.
Because we as people are built in such a way that we always crave and chase after someone we can't fully have. We put people on pedestals, thinking they see us in the same way, but they never do. Far too often we rely on people who are barely there and when we decide to take the trust fall, our head meets the ground.